Twas the Night Before Christmas (Wine on the Dime Edition)
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Not a wino was stirring, not even my spouse.
The wine was decanting, just loving the air,
In hopes that Dionysus would soon be there.
The wine fridge was humming yet alas had no reds,
and all my white wine bottles where drained out and dead.
My Dachshund was warming himself in my lap,
When inside the parlor I heard a strange wrap.
Then a cork popped with the loudest of splatter,
As I heard someone mumble with an grisly old chatter.
“This wine fridge looks bare, this sin cannot stand!”
And then with a magical waive of his hand,
My fridge door bust open, though I did not dread,
As my cellar was filled up with glorious red,
white wine, rose, and sparkling galore!
Then as he turned to fall out the door,
He caught a glimpse of me in his eye,
and a smile erupted as he slapped his thigh.
“Your wine fridge is full. It has never looked better!”
And then as he climbed on his Nebuchadnezzar,
“Now Kendall, now Jackson, now Moët and Sutter
On Penfolds, Rothschild, Mondavi and Becker!
To the vineyards and wineries, let’s go to them all!
Now slosh away, slosh away, slosh away all!”
As the corks whirled by I could hardly see,
how the God of Wine had left me to be.
As the years go by I repeat this tale,
because I cannot, I will not let this story go stale.
So leave out Syrah and dark chocolate tonight,
Happy Wine-mas to all, drink up, and sleep tight.
Original Poem by Clement Clarke Moore
Parody Poem by Stuart Bankey
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